hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
