hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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