i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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