Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
