how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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