i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This is the high leading the old right now
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
