So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
