On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
