no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
