I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
