You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
