they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
