the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
