I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Oh god it's open bar.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
