In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize