none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
