if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
