dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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