Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
