Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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