Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
