Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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