i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
