I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
