Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sorry about my life...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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