i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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