Porn is love you can see.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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