i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Still dying that you shit outside
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
