Kareoke will never be a sober sport
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
