She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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