I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She told me I should be a condom model.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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