Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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