the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
