The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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