When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
