So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
