Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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