My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize