just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize