He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
