four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
