i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
