Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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