He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
