Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
