Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
