I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
