Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize