First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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