I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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