Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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