Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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