If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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