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I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
