member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
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She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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